Around this time every year I experience the same anxiousness that always comes with the presence of the new year and the closing of the last. The daunting prospect of self-transformation: a task that seems so optimistically achievable under the guise of January 1st, but fails to become a sustainable reality time and time again.
The idea of “New Year’s Resolutions” comes with equal sense of failure as it does hopefulness. While I am always optimistic that I will undergo a major personal transformation--something consisting of wellness, being healthy and “happier” in the new year, my past ideas of New Year’s Resolutions almost always entailed “killing” the old version of myself and starting fresh as a shiny, new, and unwounded version of myself.
This is the year I finally became tired of this way of thinking. It’s not simply that I have given up on the idea of self-improvement, but frankly, I became really disillusioned by the way my New Year’s Resolutions had set myself up for a pattern of self-hate: a rejection of the person I am or was before, and a toxic embracement of the idea that I will only be happy when I achieve x, y, and z.
We are so rarely sold on the idea that learning to accept yourself is equally valuable as undergoing a personal transformation or reinvention. Growth is a process that is far less glamorous and far more tumultuous. It does not entail a magical journey to becoming this "better person", but instead, a sometimes challenging examination of the person that you are and an acceptance of yourself: flaws, wounds, imperfections and all. This is the first year I’ve decided to consciously redefine these resolutions with a language that promotes radical self-love rather than mystical reinvention.
For those of you who are curious, here is my list of redefined New Year’s Resolutions--gentle affirmations of how much I have grown and will keep growing in the new year.
Instead of hoping to achieve a certain weight or body type, this year I will show love to my body and learn to love + accept it.
Instead of planning for an ideal future, career, or financial situation, I hope to find happiness and joy in my present and worry less about what I cannot control.
Instead of hoping for a better year, I will not settle for less than what I deserve.
What are some of your personal goals for the New Year? Leave your thoughts in the